our homestead wedding

Our Homestead Wedding

Our little homestead wedding was a simple and happy day. It’s officially been a year since we first set foot on this bountiful, private and peaceful little mountain we now call home. Our relationship had some serious bumps along the road leading to a break-up and a make-up. Of course, the story is much more complicated—but for simplicity’s sake let’s go with that.

Not long after the make-up, I asked Kevin to marry me. One might say he was taken aback, but quick to accept my offer. So were his parents when we told them it would be in six weeks. In the depth of mud season here in Maine we tromped up the dirt road to the pond. This was before the ducks and geese had moved there. Kevin bush hogged it only days before, along with the fields that would become the garden a month later and the goat barn and runs a few months later.

Our Homestead Wedding

Nicole and Greg are our new neighbor’s here which we’d met only months before. That is just how fortunate and perfect this little home of ours here is. I’m not sure what was being discussed in the photo below, but I’m pretty sure it’s along the lines of Greg telling Kevin “You’re in for it now buddy.” And Kevin retaliating with “What was I supposed to say? No?”. Another neighbor found himself in the procession somehow and gazed with mild interest at the freshly cleared land.

greg and kevin Our Homestead Wedding redneck wedding vows

In the foreground, Nicole and Greg’s kids on the right were holding the goats—would you expect any less at a homestead wedding? My kids held the other two on the left. Luckily the little Nubians were only a couple of weeks old and not very heavy yet. My sister, Marcy finally had her chance to be my flower girl and lead the center of the goat bearer pack. Because, who says a flower girl can’t be of legal drinking age? Little Fireball munched on Sierra’s green hair—to be fair, it does look like grass.

goats walking down the isle redneck homestead wedding

Now, I can’t recall what was discussed in this photo below, but I’m pretty sure it was along the lines of Nicole saying “Pfft, you’ve got him now!” and me saying “I know, he-he-he!” with looks of great satisfaction.

redneck wedding outdoors by the pond in maine hobbit hill our homestead wedding

Our goat kid bearers stood just beyond the best man, Greg, and even better best lady Nicole on either side of us. Kevin’s sister did the deed, she had us read our very serious and traditional vows while looking sweetly into each others gaze. We had written the vows together that very morning—a homestead wedding can be done on the fly. 

Our Homestead Wedding Vows

I will be open and honest with you, even though it might take me until midnight to find the right words.

I promise to not be upset when you wake me up at midnight, to listen openly, and never go to bed stressed out.

Kevin: I promise not to kill your kids even when they’re being annoying—the goat kids of course.

Mandy: I promise not to smother your itchy Chihuahua at 2AM, as long as she sleeps on your side of the bed.

Mandy: I vow to use a square and level when I build from this day forward.

Kevin: I promise to try to help on the rare occasions when you let me.

Kevin: I vow not to get too upset when you run into something with my pick-up truck.

Mandy: I vow not to blow your speakers with my terrible choices in music—although Sierra might.

Mandy: When you’re sick, I’ll make you chicken soup and dote upon you sweetly.

Kevin: When you’re sick, I’ll buy you chicken soup—to eat while you binge-watch NetFlix.

Mandy: When there is nothing left to wear, I’ll give in and tell James to wash the laundry.

Kevin: When we are out of clothes to wear, I’ll call in and we can binge watch NetFlix together all day.

Kevin: I’ll bring you on dates to keep the fire in our marriage strong and to have fun together.

Mandy: I’ll dress up for you my sexy red suspenders and muck boots for those precious moments at junkyards, deserted chicken barns, and yard sales.

Kevin: I promise to let you sit on my lap on the tractor.

Mandy: I promise to kick you off it and revel in laughter.

Kevin: I vow to support you in your endeavors, dreams and projects.

Mandy: I promise to video all of your risky antics and post them to Facebook, because sharing is caring.

down the isle redneck homestead wedding vows

Angela:

Do you both promise to have fun when things get rough, laugh in the face of setbacks, and work together each day from here on out?

Together: we do!

Angela: Do you both promise to love each other, be faithful and true?

Together: we do!

Angela: Do you promise to be best friends through it all?

Mandy, Kevin: I do — I do

Mandy: I promise to never shut you out and come to you first when I hit bottom.

Kevin: When your face of steel occasionally leaks, I’ll be your shoulder to leak on.

Kevin: With this ring, I promise to always be there for you.

Mandy: With this ring, I promise not to be too stubborn and always love you.

Angela: With the power vested in me by the State of Maine, I hereby pronounce you best friends for life.

redneck wedding our homestead wedding bucksport maine at hobbit hillAnd just like that, I tittered with laughter while Kevin mostly unsuspectingly stood there by my side. The poor fella didn’t envision a heard of six dairy goats in a few months, or the two trips to the doctor’s for farm injuries—a railroad spike to the foot for me putting me on crutches and hobbling for a couple weeks, and a corner of metal roofing to the forehead requiring eight stitches for him. In a month he’d be pounding in fence posts while I sewed hundreds of heirloom vegetable seeds.

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In fact, the time since this happy day has passed with an ease I’ve never know before. Below is my new family, the Wheatons. Only a month after, Kevin’s brother also married. This was also my brandy-new mother and father in laws’ 59th wedding anniversary. They also had few grandkids born—and married into the family in 2018. We all went on a cruise to Bermuda to commemorate this happy time for all of us in late June.

wheaton family at hobbit hill homestead redneck wedding bucksport maine

My mother’s parents, Grampa and Grammy Grant also come. My new brother-in-law, Lowell, hilariously thought grampa had a hard time getting around—at 87, it’s an honest mistake. I can only imagine what went through Grampa’s head as Lowell took him—a man who hauls lumber from the woodlot and still runs a sawmill—by the arm and walked him around. He didn’t say anything, he’s a man of few (mostly opinionated) words. But he did look amused and let Lowell guide him along. We all had a good laugh a couple weeks later over Chinese takeout. 

Grammy, frail from some recent heath problems that come with years of hard work on family farm and age, watched with a smile from the truck with my step father.

grammy grant old lady hobbit hill homstead our homestead wedding redneck  grampa grant and lowel hobbit hill homestead bucksport maine redneck wedding

Grampa told us, with a smirk of approval and pride, that he had a gift for us. A large gift. He left it at that and went along home with Grammy and Dad. It was indeed, a VERY large and generous gift.

 

Here’s to many prosperous and bountiful years living the good life up on Hobbit Hill!

“We are met together in the house of our friend and fellow conspirator, this most excellent and audacious hobbit–may the hair on his toes never fall out! All praise to his wine and ale!”

-J. R. R. Tolkein

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